Jackson Hole Ski Trip, 2009 - Day 14, Granite Canyon

Friday, Feb 27

Granite Canyon's Mile Long Couloir.

Somehow I lost my glasses. (Found them; I'm a teensy bit drunk.) In spite of all that, today was awesome. I am totally skied out, and yet I didn't make any in bounds turns (actually I did ski Rendezvous Bowl twice, but still...)

We got in the tram line at 8:15, but that was 15 minutes too late to catch the first tram at 9:00. We were sandwiched between New Jersey guy and the Million Dollar Man for almost an hour before the mountain opened and we got to ski. New Jersey guy told us that he heard that there were three JH locals in their 40's who retired and skied all the time. He heard they hired a guide so they could cut line, but they skied so fast that they just told the guide to meet them at the tram so they could cut line again. Frank just shrugged and said "Hmmm." I was skeptical, because the guides I knew skied super fast and I couldn't imagine three whipper snappers skiing faster. Over drinks at dinner that night, Frank told me that the guide was Sammy, slowed down by a broken tibia. The three "retirees" were Clint, Ned, and Frank himself.

(This followed a chance encounter in the tram line the day before. I mentioned that my brother-in-law and sister-in-law lived in town. Later I referred to them by name. The local we were talking to said, "Everyone knows Frank and Mimi." Geordie wants to create a web site with that as a title.)

The Million Dollar Man was a guy wearing a CMH "Million Vertical Feet" jacket, that you earn by doing a ton of heli-skiing. I was impressed, but Frank pointed out over dinner, that wearing the jacket is like bragging that you spent $100,000 on heli skiing. In Jackson, such ostentation is frowned upon. Even I was turned off by the Million Dollar Man's story about his acceptance speech when awarded the jacket. They gave him the jacket and he tried it on, but said he was worried the ski pants wouldn't fit. He dropped trou, exposing his G-string and the "Congratulations" markered on his butt cheek with a Sharpie. Please. It is early and we just want to relax until we get to the top of the mountain.

OK. On to the skiing. Frank had us buckle our boots and packs while standing in line. That way we could zoom off the tram and ski down the bowl before the hordes. We exited the ski area boundary at the lower gate and hiked up to Four Pines. The run down was awesome. We floated through light powder and got first tracks the whole way. The hike up Paranoia Ridge seemed easier than the day before, and we took the run from the top of Four Pines without stopping. At the bottom, Mimi and Frank paid me the HUGE compliment of saying that I looked balanced on my skis. I was rocking the BROs for the second day in a row, and all was right with the world.

Geordie skiing through the willows at the runout from Four Pines.

When Geordie asked me what to wear that morning, I told him that we were going to ski in bounds until it was tracked out, and then we would move to Rock Springs Canyon for some out of bounds turns that didn't require any hiking. How wrong I was!

Four Pines requires a steep climb up Paranoia Ridge and a longer climb up to the top of Four Pines. But that was nothing compared to what Frank and Mimi had in store for us. The tram line was super long when we got back to the bottom, so we took the gondola. At the top, we decided to do a run in Granite Canyon. First we had to climb the boot pack from the gondola to the top of the Headwall. I passed a bunch of people on the way up and nearly had a coronary from the exertion. At the top, I ate a "cow pie" (sort of like a pizza in a bun) and rested while waiting for Geordie to catch up.

The top of the Headwall climb.

The climb up the Headwall turned out to be the easiest part of the day. We traversed out past Casper Bowl and the Crags, and ducked the rope to ski down the backside into Granite Canyon. The entry into Mile Long Couloir was sketchy. We had to tiptoe down a rock strewn chute before it opened up into a very skiable couloir. The upside of the tricky entrance, is that the couloir doesn't get skied as much as Endless Couloir with an easy entrance right next door.

Mimi checking out the entrance to Mile Long Couloir,
straight ahead across the rocks and then down.

Geordie made it through the rocks into the couloir.

Mimi ready to drop into Mile Long Couloir.

The name Mile Long Couloir may be an exaggeration, but it was plenty long for me. The top was steep enough that I made jump turns. The next section I skied with big, round turns, until Frank shot by me and showed me how to do it: Swoop right down the fall line, faster and faster. I got so caught up in the sensation, that I forgot the basics of backcountry skiing: one at a time and only stop in safety zones. The couloir is so long--Frank guesses 2500 feet vertical--that I couldn't ski it without stopping a couple of times. Fortunately, the snow was very stable and avalanche danger was moderate.

Looking back up Mile Long Couloir from the bottom.

Frank at the bottom of Mile Long Couloir.

Mimi at the bottom of Mile Long Couloir.

Geordie at the bottom of Mile Long Couloir.

Self portrait of Phillip at the bottom of Mile Long Couloir.

The hardest part of the day was the traverse out of Granite Canyon back to the ski resort. Rumor has it that the traverse is 5 miles long. The first half is mostly uphill and we spent a lot of energy sidestepping. At an obvious resting point, I took off my helmet and unzipped my jacket and pulled up my sleeves. Immediately after we got going again, we had a fast downhill traverse with the most massive whoop-de-doos I have ever encountered on skis. I wished my helmet was back on my head, for sure. An interminable time later, we reached the boundaries of the ski area again. It was surreal reentering the controlled and groomed world of the ski area. It was like walking out of the wilderness into Disney World. Most of the skiers inbounds had no idea what lay just on the other side of the ropes. Of course, there are a few skiers who do laps on the route we just finished. Those people are so strong, it is ridiculous. Once a day is plenty for me. Geordie said once a lifetime for him.

The long traverse home from Granite Canyon (~45 minutes).

Even the snow loves my BROs.

After a big lunch of split pea soup, broiled sweet potato fries, and tortellinis with tomato and mushroom sauce, we headed back out for the last run of the trip, an easy (no hiking required) out of bounds run down Rock Springs Canyon. Mimi called her daughter's school and arranged for Michelle to hang out at the Village Cafe for 30 minutes because we wouldn't make it back before the bus dropped her off. As expected, Rock Springs was tracked out, but was still fun to ski. It will have to do until next time. Returning to the ski resort, I headed to Wildernest to buy a photo-map of Granite Canyon. Cutting through the VC, I heard, "Hi Doober!" It was Michelle patiently waiting for us to get back. Thanks Michelle for letting me borrow your Mom as a ski guide.

Frank, Mimi, and Geordie at GameFish.

That night Geordie took us out to dinner at GameFish. First we shared a bottle of champagne (thanks Mimi) at the Teton Club. After a toast to our hosts and guides--"everyone knows Frank and Mimi"--we walked to the restaurant and had a great time telling stories from the ski trip.

Back at the Teton Club, the bar was rocking. So I stopped in and hung out with Quinn Connor, Twenty-seven, and some Mass members. Aaron was the only one sober. Some funny stories I'll try to add later.